“Do you miss me?”
and there i was, trying to avoid the one question i knew was going to mess me up all over again. i mean, what was i supposed to say? what was i supposed to do? i tried, i really did try to keep my cool. it was just another one of those questions anyway right? well, it wasn’t. because that ONE question, it means a lot. it hits me like crazy. and i guess i wasn’t supposed to overreact, i guess i shouldda just answered it directly. but i just didn’t have enough strength to carry that shit on like it didn’t remind me of someone, like it didn’t bring me back to those memories.
and there i was, wondering, thinking, wishing, believing, that it was you all along. and maybe it was, i’m hoping it was. but really, what difference would that make? because honestly, it’s been quite some time since we’ve managed to say the things worth saying and it’s been quite awhile since i had enough of me to pour my heart out there for you. and even when i did, you treated that like shit. so what’s the point right?
ugh, idek anymore. i guess all i was hoping for was that you still thought of me, still believed in me, still remembered all those things you said. idk, maybe i’m just being stupid like i always am. i mean, it’s always whatever anyway right? so there you go, it’s whatever.
ugh, maybe all i really wanted was for that one question to come out of your mouth. will it ever happen? will it happen now, today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year? will you ever try to get all of it back? ….. do you even care enough? .. still?
or maybe .. just maybe, has it already happened? today …?